Since 50 Shades of Grey took the country by storm this year, men everywhere are still reeling from the backlash (as in literal lashes on their backs from their girlfriend’s sudden interest in BDSM). While the idea of BDSM is nothing new, if there’s one thing Christian Grey has done for the masses, it’s to make it easier for people to speak up in the bedroom. Forceful play (consensual forceful play here, mates), is neither taboo nor risqué; it’s a type of pleasure many of us crave and it turns out there are completely natural reasons why.
Power
To get one thing straight, a wide variety of sexual activity falls under the BDSM umbrella. For some, it’s a blindfold, for others, it’s a belt. Regardless, the pleasure derived from rough sex mainly stems from the control as well as the submission of control. According to Psychology Today, we are born with either “passive” or “aggressive” predilections, so that “nurturing the recessive part of [our] rational beings may at times offer us satisfaction unavailable through enacting [our] primary circuitry.” In other words, if you’re a boss in the boardroom all day long, it actually makes sense that you would enjoy relinquishing the power and have someone boss you around instead. Additionally, those with anxiety issues tend to lean more towards
the submissive role in the bedroom as it feels like a relief to no
longer have to worry about making the right or wrong decision. Conversely, those who relish the rush of power and control will ultimately get off on being the dominant.
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