Dr. No (1962)
GIRL: Ursula Andress, as shell diving Jamaican bombshell Honey Rider. The image of her exiting the surf in her white bikini is one of those rare film moments that gave both you and your grandpa a stiffy, albeit 50 years apart. We hope.
From Russia With Love (1963)
VILLAIN: Colonel Rosa Klebb, who uses that most lethal of ‘60s weapons – the shoe with a poisoned blade affixed to the tip – to kill Bond but fails.
Goldfinger (1964)
GADGET: James gets two homing devices – yawn. Henchman Oddjob has a metal-brimmed bowler hat that, when thrown hard enough, can slice through metal and stone.
Thunderball (1965)
GIRL: Claudine Auger as Domino Derval, who it turns out is not only keen for aquatic sex but also happens to be mighty handy with a harpoon gun.
You Only Live Twice (1967)
CAR: When filming in Japan, drive a Toyota. A 2000GT, to be exact. Owing to Sean Connery’s height, his female co-star, Akiko Wakabayashi, did the driving scenes, lest he resemble a Ken doll in a Micro Machine.
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)
VILLAIN: Blofeld, again. Except this time he’s brainwashed a posse of babes into ruining the world’s agriculture supply – unless his record of global tomfoolery is wiped clean and his title of Count is acknowledged. Will somebody please order this guy a hooker or something?
Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
VILLAIN: Once again, Blofeld looks to assert his virgin tyranny. In his third attempt at global terrorism, he builds a laser satellite capable of destroying nuclear weapons out of diamonds.
Live & Let Die (1973)
GADGET: Everyone can agree that Rolex makes a fine timepiece. In Roger Moore’s first outing as Bond, he receives a Submariner containing an electromagnet that can deflect a bullet and featuring a bezel that doubles as a saw. He uses it to cut through rope and frighten off sharks, because he’s boss.
The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)
CAR: An AMC Hornet X. It won’t turn heads or drop panties like an Aston but goddamn that corkscrew jump it performs over a lake is cool.
The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
GIRL: Barbara Bach as Anya Amasova, who loves Bond then hates Bond then, after vowing to kill Bond, partakes with him in congress of the bom chicka wah wah variety.
Moonraker (1979)
00-FACTOID: The climactic space station battle still holds the record for largest number of zero gravity wires used in one scene.
For Your Eyes Only (1981)
GIRL: Carole Bouquet as Melina Havelock – one of those rare cases where the real name of the actress is better than that of her character. Bouquet missed out on the role of Dr Holly Goodhead in Moonraker but was vindicated here.
Octopussy (1983)
GADGET: A hot air balloon with surveillance cameras attached. The balloon is synced with Bond’s Seiko TV Watch because, like, that’s what people did in the ’80s.
A View To A Kill (1985)
00-FACTOID: Roger Moore’s final outing as the spy, filmed when he was 57. Incidentally, the least favourite of his seven Bond films, as he felt he was too old for the part and wasn’t a fan of Grace Jones.
The Living Daylights (1987)
CAR: Aston Martin V8 Vantage Volante, with a growler of an engine and all the trimmings you’ve come to expect, like lasers, missiles, rocket propulsion, and self-destruct mode.
Licence To Kill (1989)
GIRL: Carey Lowell as all-American ex-Army pilot Pam Bouvier and Talisa Soto as Lupe Lamora, in the default role of “villain’s exotic and vulnerable arm candy”.
GoldenEye (1995)
VILLAIN: None other than 006, played by Boromir from Game of Thrones. Point being, a Bond flick about medieval time travel would be a really cool… or so awful it kills a multi-billion dollar film series that’s been around for five decades.
Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
GIRL: Michelle Yeoh as Colonel Wai Lin, a Chinese spy who, for some reason, can’t soar through the sky like she did in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
The World Is Not Enough (1999)
VILLAIN: Sophie Marceau plays a sexy oil heiress but, as most blokes know, it’s never that simple with sexy oil heiresses. She also wants jack up petroleum prices – bitch! – via nuclear means. Her offsider is the main fella from The Full Monty, whose character is a Russian psycho with a bullet in his brain, so he can’t feel anything. No, he can’t even see the humour in Bond’s Christmas joke. Sad.
Die Another Day (2002)
CAR: With a 6.0L engine churning out 335kW of noisy power, the Aston Martin V12 Vanquish is a beast. The one in the movie used a small block Ford V8 and a three-speed auto to make room up front for machine guns; the coupe also had to be converted to 4WD and stripped down, so it could perform on ice.
Casino Royale (2006)
00-FACTOID: The newly minted 007 is named so because, in order to gain the “licence to kill” (‘00’ status), a British spy must first achieve two kills in the field. Bond does so, and becomes the seventh spy to gain such status, hence the 7.
Quantum of Solace (2008)
GIRL: Olga Kurylenko as Camille Montes, a well-trained Bolivian agent who has a hankering for revenge that almost rivals Bond’s itch for vengeance. In terms of the non-femme fatale, Gemma Arterton is yummy MI6 agent Strawberry Fields. Maybe if she’d been a tad more fatale, she wouldn’t have been wasted by the nefarious Quantum organisation.
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