THE ’SQUATCH MEN
The Sasquatch – better known as Bigfoot – has both fascinated and eluded humanity for decades. A North American cousin to Asia’s equally mythical Yeti, these giant ape creatures are only ever seen in grainy video footage or family movies starring John Lithgow. Most say Sasquatches don’t exist. Others, like Matt Moneymaker, James “Bobo” Fay, Cliff Barackman, and Ranae Holland, the team members of Animal Planet’s Finding Bigfoot, think they do. Scratch that, know they do. That’s why I’m in the far reaches of Northern California to meet up with them. The team investigates claims of Bigfoot sightings all over North America, and tonight they’re hoping to prove to me that Bigfoots are very real.
“There’s a feeling that, because Sasquatches are in the wild, they should be seen often, and there should be all kinds of great photos,” says Moneymaker. “I think the assumption people make is that because there aren’t any good photos, they don’t exist.” Even though I’m not sure at this point if these guys are misunderstood geniuses or a pack of lunatics, their conviction and enthusiasm for the topic are contagious, and I find myself itching to get into the woods.
At 10pm we finally reach our lodging – a series of cabins alongside a desolate stretch of highway somewhere near Eureka, California. (I’ve promised to keep the exact location secret.) Despite its old-timey exterior, inside the cabin is stuffed with all kinds of gadgets for Sasquatch tracking. While the group gears up (Holland isn’t present tonight), Cliff explains the physical characteristics of Bigfoots: They’re nearly 3m tall, almost always have a red tint to their hair, and move at the speed of a flash. “What they’ve found with Sasquatch feet is that the ankle bone is shifted forward on the foot, so it needs less force to propel a great mass,” he explains.
This may be a lot of Ghostbusters-style mumbo jumbo, but he sure sounds convincing, and I find myself nodding, impressed. As we bundle up and strap the night-vision scopes to our skulls, preparing to brave the dark woods, Bobo briefs us on the greater goals of Bigfoot field research. “The next step in ’squatching,” he says emphatically, “is to get more hot chicks involved.” Moneymaker nods thoughtfully before replying, “That’s always been the next step!”
We dodge a few large SUVs while crossing the pitch-black highway and then follow the rocky path on Lost Man Creek Trail. Bobo, who has been coming to this part of the Redwoods since the ’80s, tells us not to wander from the group: Besides being known for Sasquatch sightings, the area is inhabited by mountain lions and shotgun-toting marijuana farmers, protecting their crops from midnight attacks. “I ran into a mountain lion a while back. It would have attacked me, too, but it was too afraid of Monkey,” he grins, pointing at the faithful mutt who accompanies him at all times.
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