1788 – Captain Arthur Phillip drops anchor
January 26 wasn’t a great day for the inhabitants who were about to get pushed off without an eviction notice, but it was a big day for correctional officers and convicts, as a continent became a prison.
1796 – Australia’s first pub opened
Freed convict James Larra opened the Masons Arms in Parramatta. It could’ve been a flop, but that same year John Boston brewed the first beer from Indian corn bittered with Cape gooseberry leaves. It tasted like VB.
1803 – Flinders laps the continent
From 1802 to 1803 explorer Matthew Flinders sailed around the country, mapping the coastline and proving that New South Wales in the East was (and is) joined to New Holland in the West.
1920 – The Kangaroo starts flying
The Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services, or Qantas, was founded in Winton, Queensland. Qantas made its first international flight, from Darwin to Singapore, in 1935. It’s the oldest continuously operated airline in the world.
1942 – Australian troops show their grit
The fighting on the Kokoda Trail was some of the most desperate and vicious our troops faced in WWII. Approximately 625 Australians were killed and over 1,600 wounded. Casualties from sickness topped 4,000. Victory in the campaign ensured Allied bases in northern Australia, vital for the impending counter-offensive against the Japanese, wouldn’t be seriously threatened by air attack.
1973 – The Young brothers start a band
Not many bands can overcome the death of a lead singer, and some shouldn’t try (we’re looking at you, INXS). AC/DC survived then thrived after Bon Scott choked on his own vomit. It is testament to Angus and Malcolm Young’s talent and determination, and proof that the band is one of Australia’s best exports.
1974 – Streaking goes global
Aussie Michael O’Brien did the first streak at a major sporting event – at Twickenham in 1974 during an England v France rugby match. Thankfully, women followed his lead in the years to come.
1989 – David Boon’s record-breaking binge
Boonie retired from Test cricket with a handy 7422 runs in 107 matches, with an average of 43.65, but the number he is remembered for is 52: the amount of VB cans he sunk on a flight to England for the Ashes series.
2000 – Kylie Minogue wears hot pants
When Kylie introduced the world to her delicious derrière, by slithering atop a bar wearing a pair of skimpy gold hot pants in her “Spinning Around” video, many men wished it was a Sydney Olympic event that same year. Today the shorts are housed in Melbourne’s Performing Arts Museum, prompting Kyles to admit, “My face has been outshone by my bottom.”
2005 – The Socceroos qualify
The Socceroos defeated Uruguay to qualify for the FIFA World Cup finals for the first time since 1974 (when nobody here played the game). It makes the 1974 crop of players look like miracle workers and begs the question: just how shithouse were Aussie soccer players in the intervening three decades?
2011 – MAXIM Australia launches
The world’s number-one men’s mag finally arrives Down Under, introducing discerning Australian males to the MAXIM 5 girls and heaps more. We’re currently lobbying the government to turn our July 20 anniversary into a public holiday. Julia Gillard’s office said they would only do it if she was on the cover.
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