101 Ways To Improve Your Sex Life

We may be living through a global pandemic but enhancing one’s sex life has never been easier. To show you just how simple it can be, MAXIM sexpert VANESSA DE LARGIE collated this definitive list of just over one hundred sexy, quirky, kinky and yes, sometimes weird means to inspire some action in the bedroom and beyond. You can send her a thank you note later…

ATTEND AN ONLINE SEX PARTY: Perhaps you’re still in lockdown or hesitant about being with a new partner in fear of contracting the coronavirus? If this sounds like you, then there are numerous online sex party networks that might be right up your alley. The rules are you have to glam up and don a mask during video conferencing, but you get to interact with like-minded people as well as sexually express yourself anonymously without judgement.
PENIS CHASTITY: Men are exploring orgasm denial to build arousal intensity and make their next ejaculation EXPLOSIVE. The most important thing to remember about cock and ball chastity is to purchase the right-sized device. Wrongly sized penis cages can lead to pain sensitivity and discomfort.
PURCHASE A F–KING MACHINE: There are umpteen sex machines on the market now for men and women. Whether you want to try one yourself or be a voyeur and watch your partner have all the fun, there are cheap options and ultra-expensive ones, too. Whatever your budget, you should be able to find a f–k machine to suit. Moreover, f–king machine parties are now also a thing in Australia – the buzz word is #sybian
JOIN FET LIFE: Are you a kinkster, a closet kinkster or a curious amateur kinkster? It doesn’t really matter which category you fall into, FetLife has something for all stages of fetishism. Google their site online and find some ‘fun’ in your area tonight.
THE BULLET: The most popular clitoral vibrator is called a Bullet and the thing about these vibes is that most women own one! So, suggest to your lady that she uses her Bullet on herself while you bang her senseless and send her into multiple-orgasm-land.
ORGANISE AN EROTIC GETAWAY: Unfortunately travelling has become tricky during the pandemic, but it doesn’t mean you can’t organise a sexy getaway with some like-minded partner/s. Get creative and be sure to only make bookings with companies who offer refunds.
THE GRAPEFRUIT BJ: Most men describe a grapefruit blowjob as having sex and being given a blowie at the same time. Grapefruit blowjobs are messy AF but the outcome is worth it. I personally would say the Grapefruit Blowjob is the #1 BJ (for both the giver and receiver). There are plenty of “how to” articles on the internet.
GET ELECTRO: Erotic electro-stimulation is a thing and is available in various venues Down Under. There are also numerous electro-stimulation products on the market such as the ‘violet wand’. Don’t stress – it feels more like a zap than the electric chair.
BOOK A CERTIFIED DOMINATRIX: Dominant and submissive sex-play works best, when one party is qualified. Book a session with a professional domme and learn, learn, learn. If you would prefer to have a private session online during the pandemic, these are also now available.
EXPERIENCE HUMBALLS: Humballs is when a woman takes her man’s testicles into her mouth and huuummmms. It creates crazy sensations for the male and is a great teaser before oral sex or intercourse. Highly recommended.
WATCH SOME ANDREW BLAKE PORN: Pornography is often associated with seediness and cheapness, but Andrew Blake’s porn is at the high echelon of erotic filmmaking. Often featuring famous celebs and stars in his movies, if you’re looking for art rather than a quick orgasm, Blake’s work is worth a peek.
WRITE A SEXUAL FANTASY LIST: Jot down your five sexual fantasies on a piece of paper and give yourself three months to complete the list. There’s nothing quite like a deadline.
WRITE A F–KET LIST: Who are five people you would like to and could realistically have sex with in your network? Write the names down and as you bed each one, cross them off with a red pen. Done and dusted.
ORGASMIC MEDITATION: Not aware orgasmic meditation is a thing? There are various styles including one-on-one, groups and solo. You can also access guided orgasmic meditations on iTunes, Spotify and YouTube if you want to test it out for yourself first.
SPRING CLEAN YOUR TOY COLLECTION: Out with the old and in with the new. This is the time to get rid of stuff we no longer need – this includes sex toys. Send those “has-beens” to the rubbish bin.
GET A SEXUAL HEALTH CHECK-UP: Being sexually healthy is VITAL for an amorous sex life. Getting health check-ups can feel like an inconvenience though infecting someone or death would be more of an inconvenience, right?
HOST A COVID-STYLE SWINGERS PARTY: The Australian government made a strange move in 2020 – swingers parties (where people swap sexual partners) was fine and dandy, but dancing at weddings was a big no-no. Work that decision out! Swingers parties can be sexually fun, but you don’t have to join in during one. It’s OK to stand on the sidelines and be part of the cheer squad.
STOP BOTTLING UP STUFF: Bottling up emotions is the worst thing for one’s sex life. Talk to someone and relieve the burden, so you can enjoy a wonderful sex life without all the hang-ups.
GET AN EROTIC MASSAGE: Also known as a ‘rub and tug’ or ‘happy ending’ this massage is a stress relieving experience which includes a a bodyslide and a handjob. Many Aussie parlours offer what’s known as the ‘blow and go’. So, er go for it!
VISIT A FESTIVAL, CONFERENCE OR EXHIBITON: There are some great events held weekly around Australia that are dedicated to sex and pleasure. It’s nice to get out and absorb a bit of sexual culture.
BABY OIL IT: Baby-oil sex is the bomb. All that slipping and sliding and it’s so accessible. You know what to do, so do it more.
THE FIVE SENSES: Because men are visual creatures, I think sometimes they dismiss the other four senses. Be sure to use all the senses during foreplay and coitus.
INVEST IN MALE SEX TOYS: Sex toys aren’t only for women. There are some great adult products manufactured especially for men – these include cock rings, anal beads, prostate massagers, butt plugs and more. She may also appreciate it!
DIET FOR SEX: There are many foods that boost your libido or can be used as an aphrodisiac. These include oysters, dark chocolate, bananas, asparagus, nuts and soy.
FRUIT AND VEGGIES: Some witty person once said that anything can be used as a sex toy if you’re game enough and they were dead right. I adore fruit and veggie sex, so get creative but be careful.
GET EDUCATED: As a sex-columnist, I’m continuously learning about sex day in and day out. But sadly, most of the population aren’t sexually educated which leads to STDS, bad sexual experiences and even fatalities. With the Internet qualified sex educators are at your fingertips. Binge on sex articles and videos. I promise you – they will improve your sex life immensely.
POSITION YOURSELF: Doing the starfish or lying back and thinking of England isn’t exactly exciting to a man. Encourage your woman to be creative, but don’t be forceful in your demands. Kindness and compliments with a female goes a long way.
BLINDFOLD PLAY: Spontaneously using a blindfold during a sex session can really turn up the heat. You’re basically deactivating one’s visual sense, which automatically heightens all other senses. Fun!
THE ONE-HANDED READ: Amazon, Scribe, Kindle and the web are saturated with erotic literature. Short reads, long reads, soft-core, hardcore. Anything goes. I’m an avid erotic literature reader and can’t recommend reading smut enough.
FINANCIAL DOMINATION: Have you ever wanted to be financially dominated by a woman? Well you need to find yourself a FinDom. Alternatively known as Goddesses, FinDoms will rinse you of all your hard-earned cash. You can search for the perfect FinDom on Twitter.
BODY WORSHIP: The human body is a temple and should be sexually worshipped – penis worship, clitoris worship, foot worship. The list goes on. Make your partner’s body your spiritual altar.
THE WORLD OF TANTRA: Explore the world of tantric sex. Namaste.
PRETEND HUMILIATION: Do you ever have sexual fantasies about being belittled by a woman? Perhaps you would like to be slapped or kicked or maybe verbal abuse and ridicule is more your thing? Sexual humiliation is an incredibly popular sexual activity. Just be sure to practice it in a safe and consensual environment with someone you trust or book a professional session.
ROLEPLAY: Men love it when women dress up for them in the bedroom. Tell her what turns you on. There are endless options to choose from – catsuits, corsets, masquerade, police uniforms, secretary, naughty nurse or nanny… the list goes on. Roleplay and dress ups is a form of make-believe – so nothing is off limits. Just use your imagination and play SAFE!
THE NAUGHTY TREASURE CHEST: Every sexual couple needs a naughty treasure chest (or closet). Slowly build your collection, with your favourite sex toys, lubes, outfits, reading material and accessories. Shop on Etsy and eBay for more obscure sexual purchases.
PAIN PLAY: “There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain” – who can forget this classic lyric from the famous Divinyls song? Pain play isn’t about abuse or anything non-consensual. It’s about experimenting with pain in order to feel sexually aroused.
AGE-GAP SEX: There is so much judgment in our society around age-gap sex and even age-gap relationships which I think is very sad. Lust and love are ageless, limitless and without boundaries. I know many women who prefer older men. I know many women who prefer younger men. Each to their own. Age-gap sex can be kinky, attentive, empowering and romantic.
EROTIC CINEMA: If you want to find really good erotic films, European cinema is your best bet. High quality, beautiful cinematography and non-conventional. Watch a film with your partner and then get your sexy on!
LUBE UP: Sex lubes are an item that are often overlooked. But all lubricants are not the same and one uses different lubes for different purposes. Educate yourself about water-based lubes, silicone lubes, lubes containing glycerine. The more you know about this stuff, the better sex you will have.
GROUP SEX: Threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes and massive orgies are all glorious and every single person on earth should experience group sex at least once. Just make sure you and your partner are comfortable with it and those you approach are even more comfy in you doing so!
WRAP UP: A lot of men and women hate using condoms and would rather go bareback. I get it, but unless you’re in a monogamous relationship unsafe sex is a bad idea for obvious reasons. If you want sex to feel like ‘bareback’, purchase thin condoms. There are a huge variety of condoms on the market now – textured, scented, ribbed, flavoured, latex-free…. Safe sex no longer has to be boring. It can be erotic.
EDIBLES: Everything is edible in the bedroom now – and not just between her legs! Spice up your sex life with some edible body paint, edible panties, edible condoms, edible body butter, novelty chocolate vaginas, penises and anuses. Didn’t your mother tell you that it’s rude not to finish what’s on your plate?
GAME ON: There’s online sex games, board sex games, word sex games, drinking sex games, physical sex games, voucher and certificate sex games. They all have their pros and cons. Find one that you personally enjoy.
VIRTUALITY: Whether its webcam, Skype sex, sex goggles etc. Virtual sex is our future and very much our now during the pandemic. Go outside your comfort zone.
BUY A DOLL: Sex-dolls are used by men and women all over the world. They help elderly people, isolated people, lonely people, disabed people, young people, perverted people and sexually healthy people. Sex dolls have become life-like and can be dressed up or stripped naked. Search online to find a manufacturer that caters to your specific needs.
BUY A ROBOT: A sex robot is a great accessory to a healthy sex life but you’ll have to sell a kidney (or two) to afford one.
FLESHLIGHT: The most popular masturbatory toy amongst men globally, Fleshlights are an artificial vagina and a great product promoted and supported by many sex positive folk and porn stars. Every sex shop sells them.
FITNESS: When you’re healthy and fit, you have more energy. Fitness also makes one feel confident about their body. Body-confidence is a huge factor in experimental sex.
ORGASM PLAY: There are hundreds of types of orgasms. Before your life expires be sure to experience every single type.
THE BACK DOOR: Many women can have vaginal orgasms and anal orgasms. Ask your partner if they would be comfortable exploring anal play with you. If they say yes, be sure to educate yourself about prepping and enemas.
BECOME CLITERATE: Cliteracy really should be taught at colleges so young men have a better understanding of how to please a woman. Learn about the clitoris and you will master the pussy.
THE PENIS STROKER: Penis strokers allow men to have a wank hands free. There’s many brands on the market, so what more could you ask for?
SPANK IT: No, not the monkey but more your erotic spanking, which is such a turn on. Nothing quite like a bit of red-bottomed fun – just get some advice and learn how to do it without injuring yourself or anyone who plays with you.
UNDIES: There is an abundance of novelty boxer shorts and underpants for men now in varying materials – some of them are hilarious. Give your partner a laugh in the bedroom!
SEXPO: This year the exhibition will be held in Sydney in October and November in Melbourne – if COVID doesn’t butt in. Every Aussie should visit Sexpo at least once, solo or with your partner, as you’ll leave with many ideas on how to spice it up.
CAM GIRLFRIEND: Why not ask your female partner if she would be willing to put on a private show for you via FaceTime or Skype? Ask her to wear something sexy and maybe she could even masturbate for you and even use a sex toy for your entertainment.
SEEK THERAPY: A sex therapist can assist you with an array of sexual issues. But like mechanics, you have to shop around to find a good one.
PENIS TORTURE: If getting your dick tortured gives you a hard-on, boy do I have some suggestions for you. There are countless ways to administer cock and ball torture. i.e. trampling, stretching, twisting, temperature play, hot wax, slapping, insertion of objects and electrical. It’s best to explore penis torture with a trained sex professional.
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT: Why not visit a dominatrix and be whipped, caned or paddled? I dare you!
OPEN YOUR MIND: Never judge a person for their fetishes no matter how weird or horrendous it seems. Everybody is entitled to their desires as long as they’re not hurting others. Also, don’t knock a sexual fetish until you’ve tried it – sometimes you’ll be surprised at the pleasure derived.
EROTIC WRESTLING: There are various types of wrestling: jelly wrestling, light erotic wrestling on a bed or competitive erotic wrestling done on a mat or floor surface. I suggest you book an erotic wrestling session with a fetish provider within your state.
VOYEURISM: Do you like to watch? Perhaps you could consensually watch a couple have sex or a woman get undressed? Voyeurism can be fun when it’s not done illegally and with CONSENT.
TRY SPLOSHING: Fancy having food smeared all over your body for sexual arousal? Then sploshing definitely sounds up your alley.
SENSORY DEPRIVATION: Gags, blindfolds, restraints and darkness are all ways to experience sensory deprivation. Have a play and see what works for you.
RESTRAINT: The Spreader Bar is my favourite restraint but obviously there are chains, belts, ropes, cuffs and more. Talk to your female sexual partner-in-crime on what she would be interested in exploring with you.
TAKE HER LINGERIE SHOPPING: What woman in the universe doesn’t love going lingerie shopping? Don’t wait for her birthday or Valentine’s Day to make this sexy gesture. You’ll be rewarded in the sack at a later date – mark my word.
Japanese Baths: These baths are like a spiritual rebirth. A great place to visit with a lover. Search yours now!
MAKE A SEX TAPE: Why not tape yourself having sex with your partner and, even more daring (only if you both feel up to it) upload it on to the Internet. Who knows, it could make you rich and famous?
HOT WAX: When done right (and safely!) wax play is a lot of fun. When done wrong, it can cause serious nasty burns. Hot wax play is sexy and should be explored but educate yourself on the sexual practice first.
PUBE OR NOT TO PUBE: Should men and women have hair or be hairless? It’s a personal preference with many males and females alternating between both worlds. Hairless sex feels smoother than hairy sex, but smoother doesn’t necessarily equal better. Consult your partner for their preference or do both?
BE THE GOOD GUY: This advice should be a given – but NEVER force a woman to do anything sexually that she doesn’t want to do. If she refuses something, DO NOT guilt trip her – that’s BS. Be a good guy and you may be able to come to a compromise with her about a sexual act or experience on this list.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY: Women are not mind readers. Don’t expect us to know what you’re thinking. Let us in on your sexual longings so we can work with you on them instead of being left in the dark.
POSITIVE PORNOGRAPHY: Porn is positive. Porn teaches us new sexual experiences. Porn shows us how to do sex creatively. Used correctly, it can be a healthy addition to a couple’s sex life.
SEXTING: It’s all about the sext and knowing how to do it right. Practice gets perfect results. Being creepy and inappropriate – not so much.
DICK PICS DONE RIGHT: Sending unsolicited dick pics isn’t appreciated by most women, but this doesn’t mean that a woman can’t appreciate a photograph of a beautiful penis. It’s knowing how to send it, when to send it and WHO to send it to that counts. Use your intellect and intuition to broach the subject with the recipient and choose the right time.
MARATHON MAN: Long sex sessions that last hours, days and weekends. Yes, please! Training for it will help, of course.
EROTIC YOGA: This is certainly not for everyone but if you’re this way inclined, it can help you to sexually bond and connect with partner on a deeper level.
SOUND ON: Have you ever heard people having sex and been turned on? If so, then audio porn might be for you. In 2021, audio porn’s popularity is on the rise and I love finding new ways to get off.
HOTEL SEX: Hotel rooms are a neutral space – a place where you can feel truly free and uninhibited. Also, for women particularly, it can make sex feel more special. Go book a fancy hotel room and get down and dirty.
PEGGING: This is a very popular sex act. It is when a woman penetrates a man anally with a strap-on dildo. Many women are into pegging and many aren’t. I personally fall into the latter group. If your partner is like me and feels uncomfortable, don’t be a prick and pressure her. Find another partner who would be a willing participant or visit a sex worker.
AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER: Cheating and adultery is looked down upon by conventional society but the fact is affairs often keep couples and marriages together. An affair isn’t the end of the world, but if your partner is agreeable to it, just be discreet and never talk about it again.
COUPLE GADGETS: Couples sex toys are inclusive of both partners so it’s a dual sexual experience. And there’s various vibes, dildos and accessories. Actually you’ll be spoilt for choice, if I’m honest. The range is massive.
WORKSHOPS: Sex workshops in Australia are quite common now. They are often held in sexuality shops, community centres and lecture theatres, where one can learn about the whole spectrum of human sexuality from the vanilla to the obscure.
SAFE CHOKE HOLD: Erotic choking is the term used in the sex community for erotic asphyxiation. Because it is considered by many to be a hardcore and violent sexual act, it gets a bad rap in the mainstream media. However, erotic breath-play (which is essentially what erotic choking is) done with a qualified fetish provider can be a real sexual high. Make sure you consult a professional before proceeding.
CURIOSITY: Bi-curious basically means that you’re aren’t bisexual as such but you’re ‘curious’ as to what it would be like to have sex with a person of the same sex. If you’ve had these kinds of thoughts, perhaps it’s worth experiencing once?
WORK WANK: The workplace can be so tedious and stressful even on a good day. A masturbatory session in the men’s bathroom can relieve some stress. And possibly make work and life easier to deal with.
CUFFS: How much do you trust her? Have you ever let her handcuff you and have her way with your body? Why not do it today? Again, talk about it first, and play safe!
ABSTINENCE: Celibacy is to abstain from sex. Much like sobriety is to abstain from booze. Celibacy for short intervals is said to make sex explosive once the celibate interval ends. Worth a shot, right?
SINNING: Let’s face it being a goody-two-shoes is unbelievably boring and vanilla. Be sure to sin at least twice a day. And when you arrive in hell, I’ll buy you a drink at the bar.
THE RIGHT FOREPLAY: Foreplay isn’t about fellatio or cunnilingus. Foreplay is all the stuff you do outside the bedroom. i.e. helping with the household chores, picking the kids up from school, surprising your partner with flowers or a thoughtful gift… Foreplay should begin when you wake up each morning, buddy!
STOP BEATING UP ON YOURSELF: So many blokes worry about the size of their penises, their height, their weight and their bank account. Seriously, quit beating up on yourself – it’s negative and achieves nothing. Women are turned on by confident men, so make the decision to focus on your good points.
STRIPPERS: Sometimes a night out with your mates at a quality strip joint is what you need. Self-explanatory, really.
CONTACT A PORN STAR: Many porn stars have their email or a contact form on their personal websites. Why not contact your favourite porn star and tell her/him how appreciative you are of their work. It may make watching them in your chosen porn films even sexier – especially if they were to reply to your message.
BECOME A PATREON: There are thousands of adult content creators on Patreon creating work for their fans – erotic artists, fetish models, porn stars, sex bloggers, web cam girls – you name it! Why not visit the site and see if there’s someone you can support? For as little as one dollar you can gain access to quality sex content.
BLOGGING: There are so many wonderful sex bloggers around the world with each and every one of them offering a different perspective on human sexuality. Google ‘sex blogs’ and millions will come up. Perhaps you could even start your own?
DOCTOR, DOCTOR!: You would be amazed at how many individuals are into medical fantasies and doctor/nurse role play and costumes. If this is your thing you can easily do it at home or visit a service provider or brothel.
BE QUIET: The silent treatment is often used by women against their male partners/ f–k buddies as a warning or signal. Give her space when she’s muted you. She’ll come around. And for goodness sake, don’t come on to her sexually during one of these intervals – it will only extend the silence and awkwardness of the situation.
GAGS: Any type of mouth gag is fun but ask her first if she fancies experimenting with being gagged or alternatively you could get her to gag you.
BJ PHOTOGRAPHY: Blowjob photography has been a thing for a decade. Now wedding blowjob photography is on the rise. True story. If you don’t believe me – research it!
DITCH THIS: Instead of reading 101 Ways To Improve Your Sex Life by a MAXIM sex columnist (moi), why not write your own HOT 101 list? After all, you’re the only one who knows your TRUE desires.
UNPLUG IT: In 2021 Australians are having less sex because of the Internet and advanced technology. Turn off your device and experience sex and human connection in real time. You won’t regret it.